Back to work

I never knew I liked to work so much, nor did I know that I was fond of seeing the faces of my colleagues so tremendously. After six weeks of staying with Lucas, I was so eager to go back to the lab. My O.B. doctor assured me it had nothing to do with the baby, so that I don't feel like a bad mother. This brand-new discovery re-shapes my future, for me to think about what I am going to do with my life (career/baby).

The baby, frankly, didn't seem to miss me that much for the first couple of days. I guess, the realization that my baby can survive without me makes me a little empty. As it turns out, one little pacifier brings him the comfort which I thought only I could provide him with. On one hand, this proves that I and my baby are independent of each other to some degree, on the other hand, it also shows undoubtedly, that I need to have him all to myself sometimes to win him over. A mother-baby relationship does not just come from the cord which once connected us, it needs work.

Another important discovery I made concerns the people around at work. We take for granted everyone working in the same places as we do. The people working at the cafeteria, the people working on the same floor, and etc. They are always there, like a knot on the chain, working, but we don't know them. We don't know their names, we never talk to them, we are invisible to each other as people. And then one day, they ask, "Did you deliver? How is your baby?" So they did notice, and they remembered. The fact that I am having a baby brings niceness and friendliness out of other people who we don't even know. Isn't that just nice?

Maybe this kind of social interaction is what we all need to feel we are cared about. Maybe we are not so indifferent after all.....